Let's check out some recent student essays

Good morning all you bright and cheery Essay Writing students! Today we will take a moment to read some Opinion Essays and How to ... Essays written by our classmates. If we have time, we will blog a comment about one of them later. But first ...

Please do the following ...
1) Correct your "I used to ..." sentence from last week. Kevin will give you a corrected sentence for you to type. Once your new, corrected sentence is online, Kevin will delete the old one.
2) Do Kevin's "I used to ..." practice in class.
3) Read the Opinion Essays and How to ... Essays posted below. Choose one and write a blog comment about it. You can agree with the original opinion or advice, disagree, or just add a comment. It's OK if your comment goes off the topic a bit if the comment has some connection with the original essay. Please write your name or nickname so I know who wrote the comment.

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Little Known Music Should Be More Highly Estimated
by M.Y.

What kind of music do you listen to? Many people listen to famous music such as AKB48, KARA, and EXILE. I think they are great, but music is not only famous music! You may think only famous music is good, but it is not true! Little known music should be more highly estimated.

First, people should look for a band or a singer who is not yet famous. A little known band may play a concert in a small live house. People can see the live performance at a low price. They will give a passionate performance and people will surely be enchanted by it.

Next, the music world would flourish. Japanese music industry is made up of pop idol groups. Korean idol groups are also very popular today. But in my opinion, they are selling their looks!!! I think people should listen to little known music which is on the cutting edge. These new innovative groups make their songs earnestly.

Finally, people can enjoy the growth of new bands. They are surely not good performers at first, but they will surely became good performers when many fans visit their live shows. The fans will think, “They are getting better day by day!!”

Almost all people listen to famous idol group music. But I think people should look for a band or singer who is not yet famous. The music world would be flourishing. And people can enjoy their growth. Let's go to a live house and put up our hands and shake our head!!!

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Trains Must Change
by A.K.

Are you someone who rides a train everyday? If so, have you ever been on a train early in the morning? If you travel a long distance to your school or job, you have probably ridden trains early in the morning. Do you feel comfortable on the train? Is there anything that bothers you about trains? The answer is certainly yes. There are too many things that are uncomfortable about trains, so trains must change!

First, trains are too small. There is just not enough space on a train for all the passengers early in the morning. It's true everybody might actually fit in the train, but most of the time it will be so crowded. Sometimes it's so crowded that you can't even move to fix your pants! And from the super-crowded atmosphere, there is less oxygen and the temperature rises. It is hell in the summer. Trains really need to become larger or the number of trains should be doubled. This will make it easier for everyone to travel and to get on the train.

Next, trains have serious safety issues. There is a problem of people falling or jumping in front of trains causing major delays. This is something that does not happen everyday, but it actually shouldn't happen at all. When things like this happen, not only is a life lost, but the plans of those who use the train become completely messed up. Sometimes this happens a couple of times a week! Trains need to have some type of guard rail on the platform that prevents people from falling or jumping in front of the train.

Finally, the trains have a terrible smell. This is the thing that most bothers me and probably others. You feel this especially when the train is crowded. Sometimes the train smells so bad, it's hard to breathe and you feel like you are going to throw up. There are some people who actually get so sick they have to get off the train. The smell is probably coming from all the passengers' sweat, perfume, and whatever they carry around. Once solution for this is to have a big fan to clear the polluted air. This should reduce the bad smell and make it a lot easier to breathe.

For people who use trains daily, the crowdedness, the safety problems that cause delays, and the terrible smell are major problems. That's why train cars should become larger or the number of cars doubled. There should also be guard rails to prevent train accidents, and a fan to clear the air. With these three points actually being executed, the long distress felt on trains will disappear and the daily commute will become just a short comfortable ride for everyone!

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Study Abroad is the Most Effective Way to Improve English
by K.I.

We have to study English when we are students. While we are studying in Japan, our pronunciation is not so good. Some people choose to go abroad for study. It is really useful for our skills. Study abroad is the most effective way to improve our English.

First, if we study abroad, we can speak English everywhere. If you do a home stay, you have to use English all the time. Also, you can speak with native speakers anytime, anywhere. However, if you do not communicate with your host family well, you might be in trouble about your daily life.

Second, by living abroad, we can know about a foreign country firsthand. It is truly a case of killing two birds with one stone. We can develop our global perspective. After you come back to Japan, you can still practice English with your foreign country friends.

Third, by studying abroad, we can develop not only our English skill, but also our personality. When we study abroad, it might be the first time for us to live on our own, so there may be many problems about study, living, and human relationships. We will experience many things which we have never done before. Therefore, we learn to solve our problems by ourselves. We can be more effective in handling adversity.

It is possible to learn English in Japan, but by studying abroad, we can speak English everywhere, we can learn about another country, and we can develop our personality. I think study abroad is the best way to study English. It costs a lot, but it is well worth it. If you have enough money and time, you had better study abroad, not in Japan.

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How to Sleep Better
by K.K.

Sleeping is so pleasant, but you can't sleep well if you are in the habit of playing until midnight. If you get enough sleep, you can concentrate on the next day's classes. I'll tell you how to sleep better.

First, you should be tired at bedtime, so go for a run before bedtime. Running makes you so tired. Running is a healthy recreation, but other sports are ok too. But running can be done anywhere, so it's convenient.

Next, you should prepare in advance for school the next day. If you are already prepared, you will feel relieved and relaxed. Taking a warm bath will help you to relax even more.

Finally, you should stretch. Stretching makes you warm. If you go to bed soon after stretching, you will sleep better.

To summarize, there are three steps to sleeping better. You should run, prepare in advance for school the next day, and stretch. If you can follow these three steps, you will sleep better.

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How to Make a Healthy Body
by Y.K.

I think that recently people are unhealthy. In comparison to the past, people today have changing meal times, less exercise and more stressful living. Various things became convenient and we depend on convenient things. Now I'll tell you how to make a healthy body in this changing and stressful world.

First, try to have a regular life every day. Go to bed early and get up early. Take three meals each day; morning, noon and night. Eat meals at fixed times and don't have an unbalanced diet.

Next, try to get moderate exercise. I think it's good to do sports once a week and stretch every day. In other words, don't take a bus, but go on foot instead. In the case of trains, get off before your destination and walk home.

Finally, don't hold in your stress. If you have stress, you will become sick. To not become sick, you need to blow off stress. Get more sleep, eat more, sing karaoke more. If you don't think about stressful things and do other things, you will relax.

Now you know how to make a healthy body. Get more sleep, take balanced meals, get daily exercise, and don't hold in your stress. You need to continue these three things. Decide a daily target and these steps will be more effective.

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The American Military is Necessary For Japan
by M.W.

Have you ever thought about the American military bases and people in Japan? I'm sure some of you have because we see a lot of news about it on TV or in newspapers. Do you think the American military should leave Japan? If you think so, is it just because all the news on TV or in the newspaper brings up the problems between Japan and the U.S. military? I think the American military is necessary for Japan and I am also going to tell you about a few things that you might not know about the U.S. military.

First, Japan is safer with the American military here. The U.S. will protect us in case another country attacks. Since we lost World WarⅡ, we can't have our own military now. We do have self-defense forces, but I don't believe they can protect this country. And I think even if we have our own military, people aren't going to join. Right now, we are having some problems with the American military about base transfer in Okinawa and so many people are protesting about it. They protest because of the sound pollution, aviation accidents and so on. I understand the feeling of those who live around the U.S. military base. But if we don't have them, how can they protect us since we don't have a military? I will bear with the noise pollution, etc, because I would rather be protected by the American military.

Next, nowadays, many companies hire people who can speak English because of internationalization. But we don't have much opportunity to communicate with foreigners or contact with the outside world. I have some foreigner friends and most of them live on the military base. Although studying English at school helped me, my time with my military friends helped me a lot to improve my English. If I didn't have that opportunity, I don't think I could speak English like I do now. Even If we go to school to study English, a lot of students don't try to speak English. I think it's because they aren't used to talking foreigners, but there are so many chances to talk to foreigners on a military base. For example, many military people teach English at their house on base. It's a great chance to speak to improve your English. And sometimes they have open base for everyone.

Finally, there are Japanese people who work on the U.S. military base and make their living there. Japan is currently in a recession and it's quite hard to find work, especially in Okinawa. Many people who can't find a job can find and work on the U.S. military base. In Okinawa, peoples, who work outside of the U.S. base earn about $25,000 a year, but those who work on the U.S. base earn about $40,000 a year. If the military leaves Japan, many people are going to lose their job and unemployment will be a bigger problem.

The American military is necessary for Japan. I think we will be safer with the U.S. military. Not everyone in the U.S. military is bad. Moreover, lots of Japanese people are working on the U.S military base to live. A lot of people think the American military should leave Japan and that is their choice, but please don't let the media make you think like that and don't stereotype. Think through your thoughts.

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Welcome back everyone!

Greetings Tsurumi University students! How was your summer? I hope you had a great time and are now feeling refreshed! Please tell me some things you did during the summer break!

Personally, I had a really great summer! I spent a few weeks in Virginia, then I flew to San Francisco to chaperon a group of Tsurumi University students at Dominican University in San Rafael, California. I was only there 10 days, but I learned a lot about San Rafael and San Francisco. It was a really fun time for me. You can see some photos from the trip by clicking here.

Now let's talk about today's class. We will do the following:
1) Check out the original comics we made in the last class of the Spring Semester. Just scroll down this page or click on the link from July on the right and find "Original Student Comics." You can do this while I take attendance.
2) Briefly talk about what we did this summer vacation. Please ask 1 question to someone in the class after they tell what they did.
3) Review some of the things we did during the Spring Semester. It's been a while, so we all need reminders about some writing rules and policies. You'll see a list below.
4) Kevin will introduce "A Change in Me" essay. You can read a sample essay written by a student from last year below. Your first draft is due next week.
5) Practice this pattern; "I used to ... but now I ...." Everyone must think of an example and say it to the class. For example, I used to practice my guitar every day, but now I spend most of my free time surfing the Internet.
6) Blog about a change in you. Tell us how you used to do something or believe something, but now that you are older, you don't do that or think like that anymore. You can talk about how you used to play a sport or have a hobby or have a certain belief, but now you have changed on that point (hopefully, for the better!) This topic is fun to think about, and the blog comments and essays are usually interesting to read, so please try to do a good job!

Review of Spring Semester
a. Attendance & grading policy
b. Always give me a 1st draft and final draft.
c. Always save your documents so you can edit and reprint.
d. Carry a current copy of your last essay on a USB drive or on your mail.
e. Essays should have good paragraph shape; don't type 'Enter' after each sentence.
f. There is always one space after a comma or period.
g. Follow capitalization rules
h. Use the correct verb form in your sentences.
i. Make comparisons correctly.
j. Your essays should have an introduction, body & conclusion.
k. Use transition words to link sentences and paragraphs.
l. Combine simple sentences to make complex sentences whenever possible.

"A Change in Me" student sample essay from 2010

How I Changed my Way of Thinking about Our Neighbor, Korea
by Swwie

Although I live in a country which is part of Asia, I used to believe I would not have opportunities to talk with Korean people. When I was young, I thought I might be able to talk to English speakers in the future because I had learned English in school. On the other hand, I had never learned any other languages besides Japanese and English. However, learning English gave me a lot of opportunities to talk with Korean people and changed my way of thinking about them. Now I know more about Korea, even though I live in Japan.

In 2009, I went to Canada to study English and had a lot of opportunities to meet students from all over the world. Of course, there were many people from Japan's neighboring country, South Korea. Before living in Canada, I had actually never talked to Korean people or been friends with them. But when school started, I soon made friends with some of the Korean students. We often chatted in English about the cultures of our countries, and we taught each other some words in our native language. Those times made me interested in Korea.

In 2010, I accidentally found a Korean TV drama, "Kun; Love in Palace," on a Japanese channel and it was really interesting to me. This is not a historical drama but a love comedy, so it is easy for me to understand Korean culture. Soon I began to like it. I gradually became interested in Korean TV dramas. They teach me about pop culture in Korea.

Now I am a person who likes Korea. This semester, I am taking a class about Korea and the culture of Korea. I hope I will be able to speak and write Korean a little through this class. I would also like to visit Korea in the near future.

People tend to dislike things they don't understand well. However, if we take a step to know other people's culture, we will hopefully like them and become interested in them as I am interested in Korea. Knowing about other cultures helps us keep a good relationship with foreigners.

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Now please blog about a change in yourself. This may be the topic for your essay, or you can write about something else. I'm looking forward to learning about an interesting change in you!